I read things from time to time that get my blood boiling from brilliant yet seemingly antagonistic writers in the blogosphere universe. Writers that seem to enjoy dishing out healthy amounts of negativity on us self proclaimed "have it all" bloggers. Mormon mommy bloggers seem to be a convenient target. The assumption is such that one might think my life is perfect and heaven forbid I disclose a weakness that might reveal my real humanness. It gets fatiguing to read these self deprecating entry's. It seems as long as they can diminish the existence of the "perfect lives" of others then somehow they are vindicated and feel less inadequate because after all the "perfect lives" out there are all facades... right...? Denied. I do have a perfect little life... my life... but it has all come at a price and only I know how much has been paid for those rose tinted glasses. We are "happy shining people" because we have chosen to be, not because we have been afforded an artificial perfect life which I now chose to exploit. Rather, my life has been full of challenges, trials, hardships, pain... like most everyone else BUT there is beauty in that. Because of those experiences I am very grateful for the joys and the tiny victories of each day.
I am ever aware of the scars that may never heal but somehow I have chosen, or rather prompted to feel and express the things that send my heart racing into a euphoric flutter. Yes, I have trials and I am aware of them daily. Yes, I have weaknesses beyond number. Yet there is nothing not real about the fact that I love my life and I do feel I have it all. "All" includes a spectacular marriage and outrageously great kids that are all my best friends. They ARE my HAPPY SHINING PEOPLE. But having it all also means my children still fart at the dinner table (sometimes I laugh) and I still pick my zits before bed, I burn my toast too and have gone many months before renewing my vehicle registration (gasp). That is real. But why would one spend their time writing about that? That is all part of life and after all, negativity is so boring. I am very proud of our life, raising 6 kids is awesome, it is our perfectly messy, loud, fantastic and sometimes hard life.
Today I read a post from a blogger afar, you know the kind of blogger who you wish you knew and are sure you'd be best friends with if only you were neighbors...? Her post was quite thought provoking. It made me ponder the regrets I have in life. There are a lot of them. Everyone has regrets, right? But as I reflected on how I ultimately felt, I found myself grateful for the regrets I do have because that is proof I have learned something valuable and am becoming a better person. Inevitably, I will pass through another phase of life and I'll look back with regret for this or that but there again, is the beauty of this mortal life. Regret, is healthy, as long as we don't let it sabotage our life. We are all (hopefully) progressing, becoming and reaching on our tippy toes to be metaphorically taller, to be more of who we are suppose to be, to be more Christ like. Regret in a slight way, is satisfying. It is tangible evidence if you will, that we are getting better.
My perfect little life is by no means a carefully painted mirage of self righteous perfection and certainly does not translate to me being perfect. I do have regrets and I don't entirely "get it" all the time or as soon as I would hope but the reality I choose to see is, I am REAL, we are a real family, a really big family with real challenges just like everyone else and that is all quite fantastic. It is perfect for me. More importantly, we are REALly happy and that gives me cause to keep writing this blog journal. I could write about the shadowy conundrums of life and such, those are a given, instead I write about the things that make my spirit blossom and the things that make my world go round. Pitter patter is the sound my heart makes when I think of my job here as a mother and wife. It is not a perfectly executed task by any means but I love it and would not trade it for anything. I do love my life and I love the people in it. They are shining in every way. Life is truly a gift.
3 comments:
Wow...well done. This was expressed...dare I say...perfectly? ; )
Well said sista! Love you & love your blog!
I like this post, Jen. I think in general people just feel intimidated by those that appear to "have it all" and don't share as much of the negative aspect of their lives. It's scary to reveal our "true selves," zits and all, to those that seem to find little to complain about. I am definitely one of those people. And I think that's why the blogger world gets annoyed with the Mormon mommies. We tend to blog the happy, wonderful, joyful moments of our lives. We tend to leave out the yucky stuff, for whatever (and often GOOD) reasons. However I think it makes us hard to relate to, as opposed to admired sometimes. Everyone knows in theory that no one has the perfect life, so the fact that we make it seem so can be intimidating and annoying, and not seen "real." The blogging world likes the "real" and the "raw." It's human, it's therapeutic and draws on human compassion. I'm sorry for whatever has frustrated you. I've thought a LOT about these same things (can you tell?) and appreciate your thoughts. Especially the "Getting It" Boy is that ever the truth!
Anyway, my 2 cents... ;)
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