3 Word - "Primary, Program, Signal"

Today was our primary program in sacrament. It was so sweet. So well organized and well thought out. I was rather exhausted when it was over, it was a lot of work watching all 4 of them and devoting fair quantities of of eye contact with each of them while keeping little Burger happy and contained... oh how he wanted badly to be up there with his siblings and Dad. I was able to sit right up front and had a straight shot at my sweet angel daughter. My face hurt badly by the end, as my perma-grin fatigued the muscles in my cheeks.

I eagerly looked around at each of the kids hoping they would see me watching them. As I maneuvered in my seat, adjusting my face as to gain the "just right" advantage so I could see their cute faces and they see mine. Secretly, I was hoping they would jump up and down and wave as they did when they were all Sunbeams. I was able to get responses from all of them but one. Douey would enthusiastically smile from ear to ear as we made eye contact, Eddie would wink, Bubba would smile and shine so big I could hear a high pitch squeal... very reminiscent to when he was a little boy. Fish, well every time I made eye contact with him he would turn away. I was starting to wonder if he WAS seeing me, even though I could see him. As I sat and thoroughly enjoyed myself I thought to my self how grateful I am for these remarkable people, oh I love them so!

As the program ended, each kid came walking down from the stand and eagerly approached me to receive their usual token of affection and approval. As I hugged each of them and expressed how much I loved them, I made specific mention to Bubba how grateful I was that he acknowledged me (lovingly) when I looked at him. When I said that to him, there went his signature big shining smile again coupled with a smidgen of embarrassment as he tried to break free from my embrace in an attempt to make his way to class, I just could not let him go. Fish waiting patiently for his turn finally got with in my reach. I smothered him with love and then held his face in my hands, locking eyes and told him I wanted him to acknowledge me when I look at him and not look away. He said with a blushing grin " Mom, I can't... I get too off task if I do that". Ahhh... could I possibly love him more,. That is SO HIM! I then said "ok then... we need to come up with a signal so that I know you see me." and he said "that will be my signal, I will look away." I just giggled at his honesty and his humble limitations.

THIS EXPERIENCE TAUGHT ME the ever important lesson of individuality. And the even more important lesson of accepting and embracing each of my childrens personalities, that includes what they are able to give and receive. It would be completely ineffective as a parent for me to expect the same responses from each of them as they are completely independent spirits, motivated by different things. Likewise, the same would be expected in how I nurture and love them, accepting them for who they are and loving them for it even if it is not exactly what I had prescribed.

I am grateful for this little lesson I learned today and realized that we all love and show love differently. Looking for it, seeing it and understanding it in all it's facets is as important to me as it is to those I love.